You Can't Get There From Here!

I lied. Part Two of Getting There will be slightly delayed. Right now I can't get there from here.

A day in my life talking to Lori, one of my students with autism.

Lori: can I bend your glasses?

Me: no...why would that not be a good idea?

Lori: because then I would owe you $537.00?

Me: right, do you have $537.00?

Lori: no. Can I look down your top?

Me: no....because.....?

Lori: it's personal?

Me: you got it.

Lori: can a man wipe a woman's bum?

Me: no... because.....?

Lori: it's not appropriate?

Me: right....Get your math out Lori.

Lori: then can I break your glasses?

Me: no....because....?

Lori: I don't have $537.00?

Me: right. Do you have a ruler?

Lori: yes....have you been on Gore Rd.?

Me: yes....lots of times. Turn to the last page you were working on...

Lori: where does it end?

Me: where does what end...(as if I didn't know!)

Lori: Gore Rd. Where does it end?

Me: ummmm Clarke Side Rd. I think...

Lori: right, Clarke Side Rd. Where does it begin?

Me: (sighing) Hamilton Rd.

Lori: yeah, (dreamily) Hamilton Rd.

Me: start on this question.

Lori: what roads will we take to get to East Park?

Me: (what the hell time is it?) Dundas St., then Adelaide, then Hamilton Rd.

Lori: do we turn left or right on Hamilton Rd.?

Me: left, now let's get going on your math...

Lori: when he leave Eastpark, do we go left or right on Hamilton Rd.?

Me: left, we turn left onto Hamilton Rd.

Lori: left, yes that's correct, we turn left....

Me: ok, do you know how to do this question?

Lori: can you call Ed Roland today?... (Ed Roland is the lead singer of the band "Collective Soul" and I have brought Lori two CD's of their music to school for her to swoon to..)

Me: no, I don't have his phone number, it's unlisted. Do you know what unlisted means?

Lori: yes, go on google and get his phone number.

Me: I can't, his number is unlisted.

Lori: spicy eyes, you have spicy eyes...(my eyeglasses have the words Spicy Eyes on the arms)

Lori: can I give you a hug and a kiss and pretend I'm Ed Roland? (hormones raging...)

Me: you can give me a hug, but not a kiss.....AFTER you get your math finished.

Lori: spicy eyes....spicy eyes (doing her math now...)


That's a five minutes glimpse into my daily journey as a special ed teacher....